Relationships - Communicating with partners
Communicating with your partner
Sex can be great. It can make you feel good. It can make you feel closer to your partner. It can also leave you feeling disappointed and upset. Going out with someone doesn’t mean you have to have sex.
How do I know if I’m ready to have sex?
Deciding to have sex is a big decision. Have a look at the questions below and ask yourself:
- Does it feel right?
- Are you sure you want to have sex?
- Do you feel safe with your partner? Will he/she stop if you change your mind?
- Have you talked about what you want to do? If you are too embarrassed to talk about it, maybe you are not ready to get so intimate.
- Have you weighed up the risks? It is possible to get pregnant the first time you have sex, whether you do it lying down, standing up or sideways.
- Condoms are important, you can get a sexually transmissible infection if your partner has had sex before.
- Have you talked about using condoms and contraception? If it’s too hard to have the conversation, are you ready to share so much of yourself?
- Have you checked out the law? The age of consent for sex in New Zealand is 16.
- What would your parents think? You might need their support and if you can talk to them about your relationships, it will help keep their trust.
It might be hard to tell if you’re ready to have sex. Peer pressure, fear of losing someone if you don’t have sex with them, hormones, lust and curiosity could be influencing you. Talk about it with your partner. Make sure you feel safe and respected. Talk about how you feel and how far you want to go. If one of you isn’t in to it – then it’s not on.
